“Remember, every time you use the word 'but,' you risk overshadowing the positive with the negative. Shift the focus, and let your words uplift, not undo.” - Ilah Brock

Today’s tidbit – The power of the word “but” …

You may say something positive or explain something good and kind and follow it up with the natural, ‘but’ – (or the fancy “however” ) – it cancels everything you just said – Think about it. You just canceled the good, and here is an example:

“Today, I was at the store, and I found this amazing deal on this outfit; it was 60% off, and then there was another $25 coupon on top of that, I bought this outfit for $20 – What a great deal, but – then the checker was so rude to me, and the gal behind me was growning…. ”

How about this one: “I was able to help this client today with their situation, and they were so happy and left so happy, but they did come in kind of grumpy and b*tchy. ” Any time you put the word “but” in – a negative connotation follows –

See what happens  The “but” ruined your good moment – what is the focus now? Everything AFTER the “but” –

Here is a suggestion: When you hear someone do this, you immediately take them back to the positive by asking an open-ended question. You can change their energy from the good/bad back to the positive, and maybe they will dismiss the negative words they just said. Don’t try to explain it unless they are kind of word nerdy like me—it could ensue in an argument.

What is an open-ended question? Try questions that start with the words, ‘What” or “How” or sometimes, ‘Why.” – If you start a question that begs a “yes/no” answer – that is precisely what you will get –

WATCH THOSE “BUTS” –

Now, keep going and do good work – and help someone!